I, America

what a great start to my senior year

i feel overwhelmed. like i’m not at home. like i’ll never know what i want to do with my life. like i’ll never be able to drive D: like i need to clear my head. it’s what i’ve been doing. and the more i try, the more congested it gets. like a traffic jam of thoughts, and it’s rush hour all day, everyday. i want to take a break from taking pictures. not because i feel forced to. not because i’m addicted to flickr, with getting comments, with getting testimonials, with having photos in explore. because that has never, and will never happen; my ego doesn’t need to be fed, or rewarded. but because i DO take pictures for myself. for documenting my feelings. to show the world that i am human. because lately, in reality, i don’t think i really feel anything at all. and that really really scares me. so i’ve decided i’m not going to take a break. i can’t get any better at this if i don’t even try. and i could never live with myself if i never tried. it kind of seems that everyone has kind of been feeling this way lately. is it because school is starting? has started. will start. because that scares me too. i don’t feel grown up. i don’t know when i’ll feel like i am. ah. the end.

so it was after being thrown off an intertube that was being pulled by a jetski and essentially hitting concrete water and laying on shore did i realize, i love water droplets that remain on my eyelashes. they look like diamonds that i could never quite focus on.

i’ll be doing a little thing called enjoying my last week of summer